| (no subject) |
[Nov. 20th, 2009|08:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blah | ] |
Things have been going in weird circles during this fall. Mostly life's been the same as always before, but at the same time it's been extremely different from the usual. There are quite a few big things in my life currently that keep my lil' head twisting and turning uncontrollably.
First of all, work. I loved my work a lot, things were good and I got to do a lot of other things than just nursing. But earlier this fall we were announced that due to the depression and savings needed to be done within the hospital, our ward would turn into a weekly ward. This means first of all that work will be from Monday to Friday every week, no weekends. This was a pretty big blow as I've enjoyed working in a 3 shift job, where I get to do weekends and take my days off whenever the work schedule says so. The other thing it naturally affects is that without weekends, there won't be any extra pay for losing the Sundays and Saturdays.
With this change I could still live, there'd be nights and evenings even still, but yesterday we were announced that we'd have 2 people doing nightshifts all together, nobody else. And this was the biggest blow I really could take. I love doing nightshifts plus on top of everything, the pay for doing them is really good compared to crap mornings.
So the big thing is now, do I want to go hunting for a different job or stay where I am now. The good thing about working in a big organization like an university hospital is that I can ask to be transferred to a different unit since I've got a permanent contract. This of course does not necessarily work out for the best, I don't know what the options I have within the Oulu university hospital are... The other option is I could completely move to a different town and start looking for a job there, ditching my permanent job. With the lack of male nurses I have a lot of options fortunately. But it's never easy changing jobs and being completely clueless about most of the other wards within the hospital doesn't help.
2nd thing that has been bugging my mind lately. Is a relationship. I started "Dating" 6 months ago, and have been keeping in contact with this guy since then. The problematic part is, that I don't exactly feel like settling down, or being in a proper relationship. I've been emphasizing it to him from the very beginning. I do not want to start worrying about other peoples schedules, I don't want to be together all the time and I definitely don't want to start thinking about living together. He on the other hand is much more enthusiastic about these things and I am constantly in a dilemma about how to express my thoughts without hurting his feelings. Basically the needs are completely different and it's getting on my nerves. I like him, but I like my free time and freedom the most. I'm probably not one to settle down at all in this stage of my life.
I hate relationships.... And as amusing it is, it wasn't that long ago that I figured that I need a relationship. Grass is greener and all that shit. Seriously I'm too indicisive.
Fuck this, I'll just start drinking although I got work in the morning. |
|
|
| Older |
[Oct. 22nd, 2009|07:26 am] |
| [ | music |
| | Lady GaGa - Bad Romance | ] |
Rah rah ra ah ah ah, Ro mah ro-mah-mah Gaga Oolah lah laa.
So yea, another date with my initials written all over it. Been a busy year so far, things are looking interesting regarding the future. Lots of things happening on the work front, relationship front and well... every front.
Dunno how I should celebrate myself, I'm tempted to buy a new Ps3 Bundle with Uncharted... (mmmmm Nathan Drake *drools*), but it's rather pricy.... oh such a dilemma.
Anyways, been ages since I updated, about time to do such for a change. Oh and the new Lady Gaga song is superb... can't get it out of my head. |
|
|
| Dual Panu |
[Jul. 26th, 2009|02:05 am] |
I don't go out very often due to not really being the biggest fan of bars and such. Today a friend of mine (Hanna) who was as an exchange student for the last 6 months came back to Finland and she invited me to a party, so had really no way of turning it down, plus I wanted to see her after all this time. So I went to Kaisa's place, who is a different friend I had seen a few times before. There we bumped into the oddest situation when there was a different guy named Panu there. And the thing is, Panu is a really rare name even in Finland and I myself have never ever seen or met a different person with the same name. Neither had he. So the whole night we kept talking about how the world is going to end soon or how we started the next big bang when we shaked hands.
Either way... we spent most of the evening playing fun board & card games I had never before seen. I did okay in them considering I was the only one new to them. The evening went by fast and we decided at some point to go to a bar nearby. This weekend there's this big rock festival in town which probably affected the bars as well. The bar where we went was totally empty and we basically were the only people there. So we ordered a keg of beer and decided to enjoy that and then head on out.
At some point some random fella none of us new ended up in our table and started chatting this and that to us, mostly giving compliments to Kaisa (and calling us Panus ugly). So we didn't chase him away due to the fact that there was nobody else around and he seemed too drunk and alone to comprehend anything we would've said anyways. Then at some point he asked us all to join him and go play this finnish outdoor game called mölkky. So we decided to join him since we would've otherwise probably left the bar and headed home. The whole time this guy kept drinking more and more and in the end he couldn't stand straight and would keep thinking that me and Hanna were married. So he kept giving me advices on how to treat a girl right and how she should behave around me when we're having sex. It was immensely amusing and we had a blast although the guy didn't seem to understand anything about what was going on. So we went to his place which was close by, played a game of mölkky and after that headed to get some take away.
Basically the evening was a lot different than I had imagined it to be, but it was sure fun. Mostly because of this drunken fellow who couldn't see straight and mostly kept leaning on me to be able to stand up. |
|
|
| You are always on my mind, always in my heart! |
[May. 17th, 2009|01:45 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Home | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | ArAsh - Always | ] |
Oh my, eurovision songcontest.... It seems so inhumanly super every single year, and for some reason this year was probably the best competition I've seen during these 20 years that I've been following it. The competition generally always has like 5-7 good songs but this time around it was over half of the countries with good songs. And seriously, oh my fucking god! Azerbaijan was so fucking super I can't get over it. I loved so many of the songs but their performance live was so stunningly good I'm definitely a fan now! Finland's position doesn't come off as a surprise, I liked the song either way.
The only minus to this year is that I honestly wouldn't have given Norway that big of a lead, the song was okay. But definitely not *THAT* good!
Anyways, I just needa quickly type up the countries that presented awesome songs this year in alphabetical order:
Albania
Armenia
Azerbaijan
Bosnia & Herzegovina
Estonia
Finland
Germany
Greece
Iceland
Malta
Moldova
Romania
Spain
Sweden
Turkey
Ukraine
That's 16 out of 25. And I could add more songs that were nice, but not exactly spectacular which would only leave out like 4 songs that really were bad. Definitely the best year ever! And oh my oh my god at Azerbaijan! Iceland coming close after with the cutest song ever. And Greece's adonis :p~~
And the superior Azerbaijan:
|
|
|
| &&/"!)/!"%&"!/`¤%"!`¤!"`¤!"¤ WOW! |
[Apr. 15th, 2009|12:00 am] |
JYP HOCKEY TEAM JYP HOCKEY TEAM NYT KORJAA KIEKON MAALIIN!
ICE-HOCKEY IS THE WAY TO MAKE A GROWN MAN FEEL ALIVE! |
|
|
| All hell breaks lose |
[Mar. 23rd, 2009|05:33 am] |
| [ | music |
| | The Propet - Crazy Train | ] |
After reading quite a few posts from people who are sick (well okay.. mainly just Phil... always sick!). I had to do a one of these as well.
Already vented out a bit on facebook but this was just something so utterly horrible and different I even had to lj it. So the premise is. I left to visit my sister and her 2 kids (2-years-old and 3-years-old) on Friday. The trip was nice, although the kids woke up really really early every morning which left very little amount of sleep for me during the past 2 nights.
I had made plans to meet up with an old school friend from waaaay back, before I was heading to the train yesterday. We did, had a blast talking bout old times and how being a nerd still rocks. We ate at a viking themed restaurant and had a few food beers along the way. So as it was startign to be time to head to the train so I wouldn't miss it. I suddenly started feeling nauseous, I subtly said I'd visit the toilets and threw up for the first time on my way there. Nobody saw this, and I was quick to clean it all up. Nobody even knew that it happened.
I was feeling a lot better after throwing up, thinking the worst is behind. Oh how wrong I was. I got on the train just in the nick of time, but it was packed and my real place had been invaded by a crying baby so I sat on a different spot for the first few hours. It was okay during the first hours aside for the crying baby, wasn't feeling unwell at all.
But there's a swift of trains somewhere along the way, after I had switched my spot to the new train things started going downhill. Suddenly I had a fever, was freezing everywhere, my every muscle was sore and I felt like crying. Then at some point I think to myself "I'll walk a bit, if it'd help"... Baaad judgement. I got up and walked to one of those separate doorways where people get on the train and suddenly I just threw up. A LOT. The whole doorway was blocked after my little incident. I had thrown up all over my white shirt, shoes and some on my pants as well. So there I was stuck between 2 carts wondering what I could do there. So I subtly brushed my chin and visible parts with my arms and quickly ran to the toilet. Where I threw up again.
Again I was feeling slightly better, thinking it has to stop now. But nooooo, the same occurred three more times. The whole train trip felt like it's taking days. I felt like crap no matter what I did and people would definitely stare at me, I probably smelled like hell as well after throwing up all those times.
So after the hell ends and I get on my home station, I get off. Walk into the tunnel under the station and what do ya now, throw up again. With a looot of people close by to wittness it. I just subtly brushed my mouth and moved quickly home (as I only live like 200m from the station). I got home, had a raging fever, still was feeling nauseous but just couldn't throw up. I was so god damn tired but just couldn't slee. Now 5+ hours after making it back home. I've again started throwing up. And like before, after the last barf I've been feeling quite dandy, as if things are all okay now. But I have my suspicions. Sleep is at least a subject I seem to be unable to attain right now. Well this means I'll call in sick from the next nightshift. A pity, I like them and I could really use the extra cash they make. |
|
|
| Happy happy joy joy |
[Mar. 7th, 2009|07:46 am] |
|
I'm feeling... ickily loving currently. I have no idea where or what caused the sudden feel to embrace the whole world. I must be sick. I need to get grumpy, help! |
|
|
| Harsh reality |
[Feb. 24th, 2009|08:08 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  disappointed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Avril Lavigne - Complicated | ] |
So yeah, I'm not even sure anymore whether I spoke about this yet, but I might as well go through with again. At the end of last month my current job was changed from an appointed time to a permanent job. Which technically means that I can stay at the job till I retire if I wish so. The weird complexity behind this is, that usually nurses in the hospital where I work at get permanent jobs after years and years of brief period contracts. I myself only worked for a year at the ward before I got a solid job. I had heard bout the possibility of my job being changed to a permanent job for quite a while before it actually happened, but I was sort of skeptic about it, until I finally saw the work contract and signed it myself.
The reality also is that short term contracts are a reality for nurses in Finland, which is weird considering that the field is in a huge lack of people. The thing that separates me from the masses, is that I have a penis downstairs. Men are highly respected on the field and get better jobs and better pay, although times have tried to progress to a more equal system. When I got my permanent job, also a woman who had been working at the ward for nearly 4 years got a permanent job. This just speaks of how the reality on this field is. Men are treated better than women.
Now what currently bugs me, is that there's a lot of talk about work contracts for other people being cut. A lot of really nice people whom I like working with, and it feels sort of bad that I have been given a permanent job after such a "brief" period of time. I can't help but feel happy that I'm actually on a safe ground, but I can almost feel the envy from the women colleques who have been working for years and still haven't gotten a solid job.
It just makes me wonder, is it really even okay for me to feel bad about having a job they can't take away. Feels stupid to feel guilty, but I do. God help me, things could be more complex I guess, at least the colleques I have are fairly straightforward and output their dissatisfaction with the system and don't point fingers at per say me (which would be easy I guess).
But then again, I have done my job very well I'd say. I have taken extra tasks that actually make me earn more cash and give me more responsibility, where as some of the women just sway through the work and complain here and there...
Hrhm, feels weird venting through lj since I so rarely write here. But I guess it's good to keep the tradition of an update once every few months alive. |
|
|
| Getting older |
[Oct. 22nd, 2008|09:55 am] |
| [ | music |
| | G-Powered - Viereesi Jään | ] |
One of the feelings I hate the most, is waking up the morning when you've somehow slept on top of your own arm and it's all numb. It feels as if you're sleeping next to someone else's arm. Then when you realize what's going on you'll just try to slap the arm and wake it up. This doesn't fortunately happen all that often, but when it does it always gets me jumpy.
So yea, started my birthday on that note. Guess it could be a worse wake-up-call as well, but not the nicest thing either way. So I have a day off today and tomorrow so it's somewhat nice to just relax and be. Not gonna do much till the afternoon when friends are off work and such, so I'll have a long morning to just twiddle my thumbs and perhaps play some games... I'm such a grown up. |
|
|
| Insomnia...hunh? |
[Jul. 7th, 2008|05:29 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Veronica Sales - Get Up And Go | ] |
Oh well... I was off work for 2½ weeks here, and that was about it for my summer vacation. I know it ain't all that long, but it did feel like a vacation as I did practically nothing in particular and was just extremely lazy. The thing that bugs me though is that 3 nights before work was starting I started to have problems with my sleeping habbits again. Either I just couldn't sleep during the nights, or sleep was periodic. Now I know this might be related to me stressing out a bit due to having to work at a different ward for 3 weeks before our "own" ward is opened up, but still... Again I was able to sleep for about 4 hours before I woke up to some dream and couldn't fall asleep again. I need to figure out what's causing my problems with sleep these days, seem to have a ton of 'em.
As I am supposedly a professional on healthcare I think I should know about these things, but I gotta admit I'm still completely oblivious about insomnia and how to treat it properly. I live a very irregular life and basically nothing is very stable as I'm a person who doesn't really care for minor details. Maybe I should...
Oh well, since I have nothing better to do at this hour, I might as well try reviewing the latest seb and get that over with. Disappointment after not being able to sleep is a good combination, eh? |
|
|
| Fun Fun Fun Coz We Are Dancing In The Sun |
[Jan. 3rd, 2008|12:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  ditzy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Masterboy - Mister Feeling | ] |
A typical beautiful Finnish winter day. Birds are frozen to death in trees and I can't get my car to start up. So I'm bored at home figuring what to do, then I get a master idea: Let's shopping!
So I think this'll be a good chance to fill up on some groceries and such that I'm running low on. I do my shopping like I always do at the supermarket close by where I live, then when I get out of the market I see a news reporter interviewing some people at the corner of the market (like 100 metres away). I know I gotta get past him to get home, so I bow my head down and make sure I don't make eyecontact and start making dashing moves to the side of him to avoid him. Then suddenly he intercepts me on my way and starts interrogating me...
Reporter: "Do you have a moment for a few questions please?"
Me: "No, I don't..."
Reporter: "It'll only take a second!"
Me: "No..." (thinking to myself: please god no)
Reporter: "How do you feel about Finland joining the Nato, would it be better for Finland to stay neutral on foreign politics?"
Me: ".....????"
Reporter: "Have the newest decisions Putin made affected Finland's relationship with Russia in any way?"
Me: "....??? HUNH?" (At that point I just couldn't get out of the conversation and felt it'd be rude to leave)
The conversation goes on and on and the reporter keeps asking these questions that make absolutely zero sense to me. I'm going like "YES YES!!!" to questions I have no idea what they were even about....
The funny part is, just earlier today my friend linked me this. And I was going like "HAHAHA!! They're frigging stupid!". While doing the interview the person asked me "Can I take this on camera?" And I was like "NO NO NOOOOOO NO FUCKING WAY NO!" |
|
|
| ... |
[Dec. 31st, 2007|11:47 pm] |
|
Yeah yeah happy fucking new year and all that shit... yawn. |
|
|
| Meriiii kurisumasu! |
[Dec. 24th, 2007|10:13 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | christmas | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Parents' | ] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Generic Christmas Song #194256 | ] |
Yeah that and a happy new year too, to YOU! (Yes You) |
|
|
| Speeeeed demon |
[Nov. 29th, 2007|03:26 pm] |
[oddtopic]
Okay fast rewind to ages ago. Phil posted this originally in his lj how a person in an electric wheelchair at his school had been speeding through the halls and some people close to Phil had stated something alongside "He's a real speed demon". Phil made a post about this how it had made him laugh and now he thought of electric wheelchairs every time he heard Oda's Speed Demon (King Of Kings)...
Another fast rewind to yesterday. I was heading to evening shift to the hospital while listening to my iPod at a relatively high volume. I didn't look behind me and started crossing the road to take a left turn and suddenly this guy on an electric wheelchair zooms past me at a rather alarmingly high speed for an electric wheelchair and he notices how I barely jump away from his path and stops to see if I'm okay. I got this instant flashback to what Phil said about Speed Demon and I started to laugh myself at the situation and the guy just kept staring at me for a while and then turned and zoomed away. I couldn't help laughing myself the whole way to work and even at work I kept smirking from time to time at the event.
[/oddtopic]
[realtopic]
So I've been doing random jobs at this psychogeriatric ward for a few weeks now, the head nurse at the ward was sick until this Monday when I called him and asked about a slightly more permanent job there (if such was possible). So yesterday he interviewed me at work and said it's possible that I could get a job there starting from January next year. So here I was thinking it'd be just one of those "Possiblies" which never happen either way. Yet today at work he came shaking my hand from out of the blue saying I'm their new employee. So there, I only had to do random jobs for 3 weeks before I got a new job after leaving my previous one. Quite dumbfound, yet victorious and happy. Considering this ward is like a 5 minute biketrip away from my home and it's rather easy + nice patients over all. So yeah, I'm in high spirits. KING OF KINGS TONIGHT! SPEED DEMON... |
|
|
| Meme stuff... |
[Nov. 17th, 2007|08:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Giorgia Barrows - Queen Of The Night | ] |
| You Are 42% Evil | 
You are evil, but you haven't yet mastered the dark side.
Fear not though - you are on your way to world domination. |
I sort of would've thought that this rating would have been higher... not even 50% :/
| You Should Learn Swedish | 
Fantastisk! You're laid back about learning a language - and about life in general.
Peaceful, beautiful Sweden is ideal for you... And you won't even have to speak perfect Swedish to get around! |
Err... boring answer, I already know Swedish :/ And <3 it. |
|
|
| WoW, what a day... |
[Oct. 18th, 2007|10:00 pm] |
Back in 2005 when I started playing World of Warcraft I somehow became a retarded slob who was too lazy do anything at all. And the ~2 years I kept playing the game I noticed I kept degrading to an even more lazy person, which was alarming to notice but hard to control.
Playing the game was everything, it was what I did whenever I came home and had a second to spare, but well eventually I did manage to break the cycle. Now after quite a while without any WoW I've actually gotten my old drive back and I can actually spend days doing lots of things I used to enjoy back in the past, and I gotta say I'm more energetic and happy as well.
So this day... First of all I got up at 6am as usual for a morning shift at work. 8 hours at work, and just before I got off work my dad called and said he had finished the floors and things at my new apartment (oh yeah, did I mention I was about to move at the end of the month? ;P). So suddenly I was in a huge rush to start moving all of my things to the new apartment with my small little Ford KA that I got last week. So I spent 7 hours driving stuff back and forth (with some help from a friend). And now it's past 10PM and I'm not one bit drained....
The thing with this sudden move was that, the original plan was that I'd be moving at the very end of the month (like the 30th-31st). But since my dad (who was redoing the floors & walls at the new apartment) got things done faster said it's done now. I decided I'd start moving asap and managed to move all of the small stuff I could. The rush part is that my friends from Southern Finland are coming over tomorrow. And on top of that I got an evening shift at work, so I'll be working from 2PM to 9PM. So I got like 4 hours to sort out the rest of my stuff before work tomorrow, and then when I get back from evening shift I gotta be ready to be a host to my friends (AT MY NEW APARTMENT, which is a total mess now)...
So yeah, I've had a 15 hour day so far, and I'll probably have a similar tomorrow, but for some reason this hasn't gotten to me at all. I've been really perky and happy to be doing actual stuff now. I'm just sorting out the last bits of my things at my old apartment. Moving this suddenly means that I won't have internet or such for a while since I couldn't sort things out in advance sadly. So I'll probably be gone for a week or two, other than visiting the net from work & friends.
I'll see people later on when I'm back to land of the living at my new _VERY_ fancy apartment. I can't believe how magnificent it looks after my dad redid it nearly fully. I feel like I'm actually more of a mature person after moving out of this little apartment that felt like a bachelor box for me. I gotta start acting more mature too I guess ;C
Aaaanyways, this is me. Signing out of the internet for some time. Kisses and hugs <3 |
|
|
| Suddenly Eurobeat |
[Sep. 25th, 2007|02:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Fastway - Formula 1 | ] |
Okay yeah, I suddenly had the doorbell ringing and I was thinking it'd be some Jehova's wittness trying to sell up Guard tower (or such) but turned out that it was actually the postman who had my new SEB, which I am still slightly surprised considering cdjapan doesn't even say that my order would have been processed... Well I don't really got anything to complain ^^
Album itself isn't really that much of a thrill ride in terms of quality, but there's that one thing... Gas Gas Gas, simply stunning. One of the most addictive tracks in the recent past. Definitely another high light for GGM. And since I had to fight ages with my stupid computer before it would even let me to rip the CD I'll upload a few bits:
Manuel - Gas Gas Gas
Go 2 & Christine - Blood On Fire |
|
|
| Yawness |
[Sep. 25th, 2007|05:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  awake | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Dave Rodgers - Lucky Man | ] |
Indeed. It's 5:20am again, been doing 4 night shifts in a row and had the first night off for a while now and yet I'm awake during the night time as if I was working. Guess the rhythm does stick rather easily in the end.
Been way annoyed today though, had a rather hectic night at work due to various reasons and once I got home there was some project going on in the building and I couldn't get to bed before like 3PM, as that was when the hammering and such stopped. So to that point I was rather pissy and got mad at a few people who dared to phone me on my sleep day :C
Well I guess I'll manage, I did enjoy working the multiple night shifts in a row but I'm now just feeling so god damn beat that I could basically just sleep on and on. Thank god I only got Wednesday and Thursday for work this week. Gonna be pleasant to sleep properly for a change for more than 1 night a week.
Other than my irregular sleeping rhythm I'm doing good I guess. Imma gonna go play some DS or such and see if I could fall asleep today at a normal time, maybe... who knows. |
|
|
| From teh Philipz0r |
[Sep. 15th, 2007|03:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Rihanna - Shut Up And Drive | ] |
1. Go to http://www.careercruising.com/.
2. Put in Username: nycareers, Password: landmark.
3. Take their "Career Matchmaker" questions.
4. Post the top ten results
1.Speech-Language Pathologist
2.Physical Therapy Assistant
3.Public Health Nurse
4.Automobile Assembler
5.Dry Cleaner
6.Athletic Trainer
7.Miner (Underground) (WTF)
8.Personal Trainer
9.Printing Press Operator
10.Production Woodworker
Though somewhat interesting that the 3 first jobs are actually stuff I could do (and am qualified for the third).
And what sort of a job is Dry Cleaner? Don't the machines do that :/ or should I become one.
///
On other news. Life's been pretty bland lately to say the truth. Ever since I graduated I've been working mainly 6 days a week and sleeping/playing the last day. My life feels it's all centered around my job, which in a way is not all that bad after all the slacking I did during my school time. But on the other hand it just feels annoying to not have much other in my life currently.
Originally my job was supposed to end at the end of August, but then they continued my contract by 2 months, and now it seems they wanna continue it again but I'm kind of torn between two, whether to continue there or call it quits. The job itself is rather cool considering how hard and rough tasks nurses can have in the end. I have to make my decision somewhat soon I guess, time seems to flow so fast.
At least new SEB is coming out again, been a while. Something to pick me up after all the late shifts. |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
panua's journal
surprised
cheerful